December 16, 2007
The Night Before SeattlePosted by Steve Kinman in Culture, Infrastructure, SoftLayer
‘Twas the night before Seattle and all through the office people were stirring, even the bosses. The Dev guys were grinding on code one last time in hopes all the errors for sure they would find. The servers were powered and cabled and racked and it took us a while to get them unpacked. And Mike with his checkbook and Gary his stash both paid our vendors a whole lot of cash. When out in the parking lot the bass was a thumpin’ I sprang from my chair cuz I knew he was coming. Over to the window I flew like a flash pulled down the blinds and made a loud crash. The lights on his truck gave off a strange orange glow and I could see some weirdness just down below. When what to my tired overworked eyes did appear it was a great big guy and a whole lot of beer. With his size and his stature, so calm with a grin I knew in a moment it really must be him. Faster and faster he came up the walk he was hootin and hollerin and popin a top. “Now, Miller! Now, Bud! Now, Coors! and Coors light! On Corona! on Busch! On Lonestar! and Red Stripe! To the top of the stairs! To the top of the world! Drink away! Splash away! Slosh away all!” Like molasses before a new fallen snow he made his move to the door, be it very slow Up in the elevator to the top he flew with all of the beer and some pretzels too. And then in a flash I heard in the hall a pop and a fizz, did he drop them all? As I ran down the way in hopes for a beer I stopped in the hall for I knew he was near. He was dressed in a pimp hat and humming tune and his clothes were all black with 3 bars on his plume. A few cases of beer he was trying to hold and he kept grumbling something about it being cold. His eyes how they stared; his eye brows so slanted the beer must be heavy; cuz as he walked he panted. I knew right at that moment; and just had to pause I knew at that moment I had seen Lancey Clause. He handed out beer with a groan and a scowl he dropped one on his toe and screamed OOUU! He spoke not a word but kept to his work he filled fridges and coolers; with nary a burp. After leaving a trail of beer all around he went back to the elevator and headed down. A clank and a thud as he dropped his keys He went through the door and banged one of his knees. I heard the door slam on his truck down below and the tunes of the 80’s started to flow. But I heard him yell as he drove out of sight "sell a Seattle Server, Sell them all tonight!"