August 18, 2011
Subtract Server. Add Humor.
Posted by Kevin Hazard in Customer Service, Funny, SoftLayer
Once in a blue moon, a SoftLayer customer has to cancel a server. Sometimes their business is growing and they’re moving up to more powerful hardware, sometimes they need to consolidate their equipment to cut their costs, and sometimes their reason can’t really be categorized. In this case, a happy customer with a few dozen servers decided he needed to shut one down, and the explanation he gave would clearly fall into the third category:
I would like to cancel this server on August 20th, 2011, but not before that date. Anytime on this date will be okay.
We no longer have a need for this server and would like to cancel it before our next billing period. Thank you for your help in this matter. Please send me an email when this server has been canceled on August 20th, 2011.
She’s been with us for a long time, but things just aren’t working out … She’s become a gold digger. It’s her, not me. Please let her down easy. I don’t like punking out and having someone do my dirty work, but I’m afraid she might be violent. Diamond rings hurt when you get hit with them.
I’m sorry to hear things did not work out for the two of you. While your safety is important to us, I must ask that you end this relationship via official channels.
Please submit an official cancellation request by going to Sales –> Cancel Server and proceeding through the cancellation steps. The server will be reclaimed at the end of your billing cycle on August 22nd.
Please let us know if you have any questions.
She always tried to make it hard for me to break up with her. Done!
Glad to hear things went smoothly. Things don’t always do, but we knew you could pull through it.
Official Cancellation Request
Word to your moms I came to drop bombs, I got more rhymes than the Bible’s got Psalms.
Thanks for your unique note, definitely was a nice break from the norm.
We’re glad to continue being part of your success!
Please contact us should future needs arise.
Thanks, it was a subtle reminder to get out your seat and jump around.
Let this be a lesson to all of you: Get out your seat and jump around.