Will Write Poetry for Servers

May 9, 2011

Two weeks ago, I inadvertently opened the floodgates to a wave of creativity from the SoftLayer Development/Technology organization. Lance came by my office and dropped off a server he was given, and while I would have taken it home, souped it up and done something cool with it in previous years (or decades) in my life, I find myself in more of a "just buy an iMac" camp now.

Rather than endanger the safety of our employees by sending out a "First one to grab the server from my office gets to keep it" email, I sent out more of a challenge: "Write a haiku or limerick stating why you want the server. If I get more than one submission, I’ll pick the best poem. Oh ... And no Nantucket limericks."

I expected one or two entries to come in, but to my surprise, I was greeted with dozens almost immediately:

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

There was a young man with a lance
Who had three kids to finance
Yes they look and they see
Asking for a PC
But their dad said no not a chance

Linux or Windows
Not up to how the wind blows
The penguin's a go

When you’re whipping your verse into shape
And are caught in a verse-challenged scrape,
The delete key is handy.
Assisted by brandy,
And last, but not least, try escape.

Given the overwhelming initial response, we sweetened the deal a little by adding a second server to the mix (from George). When it came time to judge and announce the winners, I had to do so with my own poem ... which killed me because I hadn't written a poem in years.

My inbox laden
Server Poets bring me pride
Rewards were doubled

There once was a SLayer named Bradley
Whose poem was flattering badly
He said 3BFL
We said ‘Oh, What the Hell’
And gave him a server quite gladly

Among numerous entries we found
That nerdy rhymes and rhymers abound
And so many came forth
Our hand was quite forced
So to the contest more servers were bound

Thus also a Slayer named Hemsell
Was chosen to leave with a morsel
Wash the zeros away
Rip and store CDs today
Make this sad server sing loud and fell

With generous swagger Karidis did add
A prize sure to make the cable co mad
For Scott Thompson’s poem
Was moving and solemn
An Apple TV should not make him sad

And finally the team of Hannon and Chong
Grammar and spelling and format all wrong
But their desire so true
And coding poetry new
Request will be supported so strong

Translation:

Server Winner: Bradley Johnson

One, two, three bar life
Free drink, free shirt, free server
Movie files need home

Server Winner: David Hemsell

CDs sit offline
Once proud server is no more
Fill barren zeros

Apple TV Winner: Scott Thompson

Your free server will
fail to bring much joy to me
I use Macintosh

Additional Computer-Related Award of Some Kind: Chong and Harold

import com.softlayer.server;
public class freeAssetReserver{
   int count = 0;
   String you = “hero”;
   function void vmBoxOursObserver();
}

Congratulations to Bradley and David for winning the servers and to Scott Thompson for walking away with the unadvertised Apple TV! When we were going through the submissions, we couldn't help but reward the submission from Chong and Harold - A coding limerick!

We'll post more of the submissions in the comments on this post, so be sure to scroll down and add your own!

-Duke

Comments

May 9th, 2011 at 9:51am

Other poetic submissions:

No home computer
My work drive is in the red
Show Houston some love

Comcast DNS
It makes grown men weep deeply
Could cache with server

Verizon’s DNS really sucks,
Or maybe just mine, with my luck.
I could use this to cache it,
Make it fast on all facets,
And then I would no longer be stuck

One two three bar life
Free drink, free shirt, free server
Movie files need home

the fans are buzzing
little lights blinking brightly
happiness nightly

technology dream
may come true this lovely spring
a home i'll give thee

Give us the scallywag server
Said with muster and fervor
If requests are ignored
Its “man overboard!”
And expect there be no life preserver

Media server
Stream my Star Trek collection
Yay DLNA

Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much

There once was a programmer of some class
Who's home server had reached an impasse
Alas the very next day
Duke was giving one away
(Is it just me or is poetry a pain in the...?)

my server takes ages to boot
it needs more time to compute
a new pc
would be great for me
but i’m really low on the loot

For that server i have just the place,
it will serve up my page like an ace!
Happy I'd be
if you were to choose me
'cause my code is in need of a base!

May 9th, 2011 at 3:11pm

More than just counting,
out seventeen syllables,
for haiku blossoms.

May 9th, 2011 at 6:53pm

You should have told me.
I can haiku like a boss.
Don’t need a server.

May 9th, 2011 at 6:54pm

If a limerick is what you were seeking,
I’d still be the one you’d want speaking.
I could say something sweet
In the space of a Tweet
And none of the words would need tweaking.

May 9th, 2011 at 6:54pm

I can blow your mind with a quick sonnet,
A quite long and complex poetry type.
I would not even spend much time on it,
And it would be worth every word of hype.

It won’t require a marketing spinner;
I think social activity will fit.
When you decide on a server winner,
I will be happy to blog about it.

Ask every employee at SoftLayer,
From Tom to Mike to Todd to George to Lance.
I am clearly the best poem sayer;
My competition would not stand a chance:

You could read this in Shakespeare’s theater:
All lines in Iambic pentameter.

May 9th, 2011 at 7:47pm

cloudlayer instance
with just a few clicks
turned on so quickly

May 9th, 2011 at 7:48pm

this haiku is titled 'young love'

cloudlayer instance
with just a few clicks you get
turned on so quickly

Leave a Reply

Filtered HTML

  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • You can enable syntax highlighting of source code with the following tags: <pre>, <blockcode>, <bash>, <c>, <cpp>, <drupal5>, <drupal6>, <java>, <javascript>, <php>, <python>, <ruby>. The supported tag styles are: <foo>, [foo].
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <blockquote> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.

Plain text

  • No HTML tags allowed.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
By submitting this form, you accept the Mollom privacy policy.

Comments

May 9th, 2011 at 9:51am

Other poetic submissions:

No home computer
My work drive is in the red
Show Houston some love

Comcast DNS
It makes grown men weep deeply
Could cache with server

Verizon’s DNS really sucks,
Or maybe just mine, with my luck.
I could use this to cache it,
Make it fast on all facets,
And then I would no longer be stuck

One two three bar life
Free drink, free shirt, free server
Movie files need home

the fans are buzzing
little lights blinking brightly
happiness nightly

technology dream
may come true this lovely spring
a home i'll give thee

Give us the scallywag server
Said with muster and fervor
If requests are ignored
Its “man overboard!”
And expect there be no life preserver

Media server
Stream my Star Trek collection
Yay DLNA

Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much

There once was a programmer of some class
Who's home server had reached an impasse
Alas the very next day
Duke was giving one away
(Is it just me or is poetry a pain in the...?)

my server takes ages to boot
it needs more time to compute
a new pc
would be great for me
but i’m really low on the loot

For that server i have just the place,
it will serve up my page like an ace!
Happy I'd be
if you were to choose me
'cause my code is in need of a base!

May 9th, 2011 at 3:11pm

More than just counting,
out seventeen syllables,
for haiku blossoms.

May 9th, 2011 at 6:53pm

You should have told me.
I can haiku like a boss.
Don’t need a server.

May 9th, 2011 at 6:54pm

If a limerick is what you were seeking,
I’d still be the one you’d want speaking.
I could say something sweet
In the space of a Tweet
And none of the words would need tweaking.

May 9th, 2011 at 6:54pm

I can blow your mind with a quick sonnet,
A quite long and complex poetry type.
I would not even spend much time on it,
And it would be worth every word of hype.

It won’t require a marketing spinner;
I think social activity will fit.
When you decide on a server winner,
I will be happy to blog about it.

Ask every employee at SoftLayer,
From Tom to Mike to Todd to George to Lance.
I am clearly the best poem sayer;
My competition would not stand a chance:

You could read this in Shakespeare’s theater:
All lines in Iambic pentameter.

May 9th, 2011 at 7:47pm

cloudlayer instance
with just a few clicks
turned on so quickly

May 9th, 2011 at 7:48pm

this haiku is titled 'young love'

cloudlayer instance
with just a few clicks you get
turned on so quickly

Leave a Reply

Filtered HTML

  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • You can enable syntax highlighting of source code with the following tags: <pre>, <blockcode>, <bash>, <c>, <cpp>, <drupal5>, <drupal6>, <java>, <javascript>, <php>, <python>, <ruby>. The supported tag styles are: <foo>, [foo].
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <blockquote> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.

Plain text

  • No HTML tags allowed.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
By submitting this form, you accept the Mollom privacy policy.