Funny Posts

January 15, 2014

Keep Spending Most Our Lives Livin' in a Gamer's Paradise

With apologies to Coolio, I couldn't resist adapting a line from the chorus of "Gangsta's Paradise" to be the title of this blog post. While I could come up with a full, cringe-worthy cloud computing version of the song (and perform it), I'll save myself the embarrassment and instead focus on why "Gamer's Paradise" came to mind in the first place. We announced some amazing stats about two gaming customers that use SoftLayer's cloud infrastructure to power popular online games, and I thought I'd share an interesting observation about that news.

More than 130 million gamers rely on SoftLayer infrastructure. SoftLayer is virtually invisible to those gamers. And that's why gaming companies love us.

When would a gamer care where a game is hosted? Simple: When gameplay is unavailable, lagging, or otherwise underperforming. Because we deliver peak cloud performance consistently for our gaming customers, we'll continue to live in the shadows of gamers' collective consciousness (while taking center stage in the minds of game producers and developers).

It's easy to get caught up in discussing the technical merits of our cloud hosting platform. Speeds and feeds provide great metrics for explaining our infrastructure, but every now and then, it's worthwhile to step back and look at the forest for the trees. Instead of talking about how bare metal resources consistently outperform their virtual server equivalents, let's take a look at why our gaming customers need as much server horsepower as we can provide:

As you can see, the games we're hosting for our customers are a little more resource-intensive than Tic-tac-toe and Pong. By leveraging SoftLayer bare metal infrastructure, gaming companies such as KUULUU and Multiplay can seamlessly support high definition gameplay in massive online environments for gamers around the world. When KUULUU launched their wildly popular LP Recharge Facebook game, they trusted our platform all the way from beta testing through launch, daily play, and updates. When Multiplay needed to support 25,000 new users in Battlefield 4, they spun up dedicated SoftLayer resources in less than four hours. If gamers expect a flawless user experience, you can imagine how attentive to infrastructure needs gaming companies are.

As more and more users sign on to play games online with Multiplay, KUULUU, and other gaming customers on our platform, we'll celebrate crossing even bigger (and more astounding) milestones like the 130 million mark we're sharing today. In the meantime, I'm going to go "check on our customers' servers" with a few hours of gameplay ... You know, for the good of our customers.

-@khazard

More Info: Multiplay and KUULUU Launch Games with SoftLayer, an IBM Company - Gaming companies flock to SoftLayer’s cloud, adding to 130 million players worldwide

Categories: 
May 29, 2013

Tips from the Abuse Department: To Catch a Predator

We've all seen the emails exclaiming, "THE KING HAS SENT YOU 1,000,000$ US DOLLARS," or "I NEED A PERSONAL ASSISTANT PAYING 500$ A WEEK." Do people actually fall for these? The answer is YES, many do. They think, "What risk is there replying to this email and possibly getting $1,000,000 or even a fraction of that?" As it turns out, there's a lot of risk.

As the senior manager of SoftLayer's abuse department, I know all about these kinds of scams, and I thought I'd reply to one of those emails to show what the interaction usually looks like and explain how the scam works.

---------------------------------------------
From: "Freddy Scammer" <scammer@address>
To: "Freddy Scammer" <scammer@address>
Subject: PA URGENTLY NEEDED

Hi, I am looking for a Personal Assistant, Kindly let me know if you are interested, and i can send you more details. Thank you

Freddy Scammer
---------------------------------------------

First, notice that my address email address isn't listed in the TO field or even the CC field. I must be BCC'd along with many others. I've changed the scammer's fake name to a more fitting name, and I'll use masculine pronouns when I talk about "him." According to our friends over at 419scam.org, this guy has been flagged as a scammer using the same name and email address. The name he provided actually belongs to a company that produces lamps as well as an American historian who focuses on colonization, decolonization and African history.

In the initial message, you'll see that there's no "all or nothing" proposition. Just like any scam, the scammer requests and provides information slowly to reel in a victim.

I replied back:

---------------------------------------------
From: <MY-EMAIL-ADDRESS>
To: <scammer@address>
Subject: RE: PA URGENTLY NEEDED

Doing What?
---------------------------------------------

I wanted to keep it short to see if I could get him to tell me more. He didn't disappoint:

---------------------------------------------
From: Freddy Scammer <scammer@address>
To: <MY-EMAIL-ADDRESS>
Subject: Re: PA URGENTLY NEEDED

Hello

Thanks for your reply, I got your email through the Chamber of Commerce directory. I am looking for someone who can handle my business errands during his or her spare time. I need your service because I am constantly traveling abroad on a missionary trip to build homes for orphaned children and doing other business as we are franchise company into alot of things.

Responsibilities:
1. Receive my mail and drop them off. {Your location doesn't matter as long as you have a post office nearby}
2. Pay my bills.
3. pay our workers on a regular basis

I would have love to meet with you to discuss this job in more detail, but I am currently away on a missionary trip. If you decide to accept the position, please read the employment requirements listed below.
REQUIREMENTS:
A. You are an honest and trustworthy citizen.
B. You need to be able to check your email regular and answer calls.

The pay is $500 weekly and you are entitled to other additional incentives after 1 month if you are hardworking. First, If I were to mail you a payment to
pay people that are needed to and your payment for your service, where would you want it mailed to?

Secondly, how would you like your name to appear on the payment? Note, payment would come in form of Check.

Provide me with the following details below to get started.

Full Name:
Complete Address(No PO Box allowed):
City:
State:
Country:
Zip Code:
Home Phone:
Cell Phone:
Age:
Occupation(If any):
Alternative Email if available:

Awaiting your prompt reply.
---------------------------------------------

Sounds easy enough right? Well it is easy. Who couldn't use an extra $500 a week! But there are a few problems here. If this sounds a lot like a "money mule" (or money laundering) type of situation, that's because it is! A money mule is a person who transfers money acquired illegally (e.g., stolen) in person, through a courier service, or electronically, on behalf of others. The mule is paid for their services, typically a small part of the money transferred.

Money mules are often dupes recruited on-line for what they think is legitimate employment, not aware that the money they are transferring is the product of crime. The money is transferred from the mule's account to the scam operator, typically in another country. Similar techniques are used to transfer illegal merchandise.

After a quick Google search for a few of the sentences in his message, I found out that this guy is low-balling me! He's offering $600 a week in other listings ... I'm hurt! I replied to see if I could get him off script:

---------------------------------------------
From: <MY-EMAIL-ADDRESS>
To: <scammer@address>
Subject: RE: PA URGENTLY NEEDED

So all I have to do is receive packages and re-ship them to where you tell me to,, also receive payments and cash it out and re-pay workers? How will I be paying them, what method? How often will I have to mail packages out and how big are they, who will pay for shipping?
---------------------------------------------

He was quick to respond:

---------------------------------------------
From: Freddy Scammer <scammer@address>
To: <MY-EMAIL-ADDRESS>
Subject: Re: PA URGENTLY NEEDED

Your going to be receiving payment mostly and it has already been paid for, for the shipping . All you have to do is receive and go ahead and cash it ....... Then i will tell you what to do with the money or whoever to pay with it. got me?
---------------------------------------------

Color me amazed. All I have to do is receive a check and cash it?! What luck!

---------------------------------------------
From: <MY-EMAIL-ADDRESS>
To: <scammer@address>
Subject: RE: PA URGENTLY NEEDED
Ok seems easy enough. But I only have a PO BOX, why would this be a problem? I currently don't have a permanent address as I'm staying with a friend trying to get back on my feet and I'm not on the house lease so I can't receive mail here. Is that going to be a problem?
---------------------------------------------

Now none of this is true, but I knew that this would throw Freddy off of his game. Most scammers don't allow a post office box because they don't want to be scammed ... What's to prevent the "victim" from renting a P.O. Box for a month, getting the check, cashing it and cancelling that P.O. Box? That possibility is a risk that scammers don't like to take. There have even been reports that in some instances, the scammers will send goons to your house if you don't hold up your end of the deal.

This whole underground world that you can get quickly and easily sucked into is exciting isn't it?

---------------------------------------------
From: Freddy Scammer <scammer@address>
To: <MY-EMAIL-ADDRESS>
Subject: Re: PA URGENTLY NEEDED

I'm afraid a PO BOX will not suffice, you can perhaps use a family members address and we can start the payments as soon as you send me the info. Please reply with the most urgent intent as I only have a few positions left as my assistant.
---------------------------------------------

At this point, I didn't bother emailing back. It's pretty obvious how easy it could be for someone down on their luck financially (or just bored) to get sucked into this type of scam. What's actually happening here is that the scammer wants to send money from a compromised account to the victim's legit account and then have the victim withdraw 90%-95% of the money and send it to another account that the bad guy has legitimate access to (probably over-seas). The victim would get to keep 5% for their troubles. Often the checks that are sent won't clear, so a victim thinks the funds are in his/her account ... Money is forwarded to the scammer from the victim's legitimate account and it clears before the funds from the scammer's deposited check disappear.

In some instances, scammers will buy high-priced items online with stolen credit card numbers and have those items shipped to the victim's house. The victim will then ship them to a different address. The bad guy has nothing to lose, and the victim takes all the risk.

The challenge with pursuing these scammers from a legal perspective is that they are often based in regions and areas out of the jurisdiction of our law enforcement authorities. As a result, they usually aren't caught, and they just move along to their next unsuspecting victim.

If you receive a "too good to be true" email from someone you don't know, let me spoil the surprise for you: It's not true.

-Dody

Categories: 
February 27, 2013

The Three Most Common Hosting-Related Phobias

As a member of the illustrious the SoftLayer sales (SLales) team, I have the daily pleasure of talking with any number of potential, prospective, new and current customers, and in many of those conversations, I've picked up on a fairly common theme: FEAR. Now we're not talking about lachanophobia (fear of vegetables) or nomophobia (fear of losing cell phone contact) here ... We're talking about fear that paralyzes users and holds them captive — effectively preventing their growth and limiting their business's potential. Fear is a disease.

I've created my own little naming convention for the top three most common phobias I hear from users as they consider making changes to their hosting environments:

1. Pessimisobia
This phobia is best summarized by the saying, "Better the devil you know than the devil you don't." Users with this phobia could suffer from frequent downtime, a lack of responsive support and long term commitment contracts, but their service is a known quantity. What if a different provider is even worse? If you don't suffer from pessimisobia, this phobia probably seems silly, but it's very evident in many of the conversations I have.

2. Whizkiditus
This affliction is particularly prevalent in established companies. Symptoms of this phobia include recurring discomfort associated with the thought of learning a new management system or deviating from a platform where users have become experts. There's an efficiency to being comfortable with how a particular platform works, but the ceiling to that efficiency is the platform itself. Users with whizkiditus might not admit it, but the biggest reason they shy away from change is that they are afraid of losing the familiarity they've built with their old systems over the years ... even if that means staying on a platform that prohibits scale and growth.

3. Everythingluenza
In order to illustrate this phobia of compartmentalizing projects to phase in changes, let's look at a little scenario:

I host all of my applications at Company 1. I want to move Application A to the more-qualified Company 2, but if I do that, I'll have to move Applications B through Z to Company 2 also. All of that work would be too time-consuming and cumbersome, so I won't change anything.

It's easy to get overwhelmed when considering a change of cloud hosting for any piece of your business, and it's even more intimidating when you feel like it has to be an "all or nothing" decision.

Unless you are afflicted with euphobia (the fear of hearing good news), you'll be happy to hear that these common fears, once properly diagnosed, are quickly and easily curable on the SoftLayer platform. There are no known side effects from treatment, and patients experience immediate symptom relief with a full recovery in between 1-3 months.

This might be a lighthearted look at some quirky fears, but I don't want to downplay how significant these phobias are to the developers and entrepreneurs that suffer from them. If any of these fears strike a chord with you, reach out to the SLales team (by phone, chat or email), and we'll help you create a treatment plan. Once you address and conquer these fears, you can devote all of your energy back to getting over your selenophobia (fear of the moon).

-Arielle

Categories: 
February 18, 2013

What Happen[ed] in Vegas - Parallels Summit 2013

The Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority says, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas," but we absconded from Caesars Palace with far too many pictures and videos from Parallels Summit to adhere to their suggestion. Over the course of three days, attendees stayed busy with presentations, networking sessions, parties, cocktails and (of course) the Server Challenge II. And thanks to Alan's astute questions in The Hangover, we didn't have to ask if the hotel was pager-friendly, whether a payphone bank was available or if Caesar actually lived at the hotel ... We could focus on the business at hand.

This year, Parallels structured the conference around three distinct tracks — Business, Technical and Developer — to focus all of the presentations for their most relevant audiences, and as a result, Parallels Summit engaged a broader, more diverse crowd than ever before. Many of the presentations were specifically geared toward the future of the cloud and how businesses can innovate to leverage the cloud's potential. With all of that buzz around the cloud and innovation, SoftLayer felt right at home. We were also right at home when it came to partying.

SoftLayer was a proud sponsor of the massive Parallels Summit party at PURE Nightclub in Caesar's palace on the second night of the conference. With respect to the "What Happens in Vegas" tagline, we actually powered down our recording devices to let the crowd enjoy the jugglers, acrobats, drinks and music without fear of incriminating pictures winding up on Facebook. Don't worry, though ... We made up for that radio silence by getting a little extra coverage of the epic Server Challenge II competition.

More than one hundred attendees stepped up to reassemble our rack of Supermicro servers, and the competition was fierce. The top two times were fifty-nine hundredths of a second apart from each other, and it took a blazingly fast time of 1:25.00 to even make the leader board. As the challenge heated up, we were able to capture video of the top three competitors (to be used as study materials for all competitors at future events):

It's pretty amazing to see the cult following that the Server Challenge is starting to form, but it's not very surprising. Given how intense some of these contests have been, people are scouting our events page for their next opportunity to step up to the server rack, and I wouldn't be surprised to see that people are mocking up their own Server Challenge racks at home to hone their strategy. A few of our friends on Twitter hinted that they're in training to dominate the next time they compete, so we're preparing for the crowds to get bigger and for the times to keep dropping.

If you weren't able to attend the show, Parallels posted video from two of the keynote presentations, and shared several of the presentation slide decks on the Parallels Summit Agenda. You might not get the full experience of networking, partying or competing in the Server Challenge, but you can still learn a lot.

Viva Las Vegas! Viva Parallels! Viva SoftLayer!

-Kevin

October 10, 2012

On-Call for Dev Support AND a New Baby

I began working at SoftLayer in May of 2010 as a customer support administrator. When I signed on, I was issued a BlackBerry to help me follow tickets and answer questions from my coworkers when I was out of the office. In August of 2011, that sparingly used BlackBerry started getting a lot more use. I became a systems engineer in development support, and I was tasked to provide first-tier support for development-related escalations, and I joined the on-call rotation.

In the Dev Support group, each systems engineer works a seven-day period each month as the on-call engineer to monitor and respond to off-hours issues. I enjoy tackling challenging problems, and my Blackberry became an integral tool in keeping me connected and alerting me to new escalations. To give you an idea of what kinds of issues get escalated to development support, let me walk you through one particularly busy on-call night:

I leave the office and get home just in time to receive a call about an escalation. An automated transaction is throwing an error, and I need to check it out. I unload my things, VPN into the SoftLayer network and begin investigating. I find the fix and I get it implemented. I go about my evening, and before I get in bed, I make sure my BlackBerry is set to alert me if a call comes in the middle of the night. Escalations to development support typically slow down after around 11 p.m., but with international presences in Amsterdam and Singapore, it's always good to be ready for a call 2:30 a.m. to make sure their issues are resolved with the same speed as issues found in the middle of the day in one of our US facilities.

Little did I know, my SoftLayer experience was actually preparing me for a different kind of "on-call" rotation ... One that's 24x7x365.

In June 2012, my wife and I adopted an infant from El Paso, Texas. We'd been trying to adopt for almost two years, and through lots of patience and persistence, we were finally selected to be the parents of a brand new baby boy. When we brought him home, he woke up every 3 hours for his feeding, and my on-call work experience paid off. I didn't have a problem waking up when it was my turn to feed him, and once he was fed, I hopped back in bed to get back to sleep. After taking a little time off to spend with the new baby, I returned to my job, and that first week back was also my turn on the on-call rotation.

The first night of that week, I got a 1 a.m. call from Amsterdam to check out a cloud template transfer that was stuck, and I got that resolved quickly. About 30 minutes later, our son cried because he was hungry, so I volunteered to get up and feed him. After 45 minutes, he'd eaten and fallen asleep again, so I went back to bed. An hour later, I got a call from our San Jose to investigate a cloud reload transaction that was stalling with an error. I worked that escalation and made it back to bed. An hour and a half later, the little baby was hungry again. My wife graciously took the feeding responsibilities this time, and I tried to get back to sleep after waking up to the baby's cries. About an hour later, another data center had an issue for me to investigate. At this point, I was red-eyed and very sleepy. When my teammates got up the next morning, they generously took the on-call phone number so I could try to get some rest.

This pattern continued for the next six days. By the end of that first week, I got a call from work at about 3 a.m., and I picked up the Baby Monitor from the night stand and answered, "Dev support, this is Greg." My wife just laughed at me.

I've come to realize that being on-call for a baby is a lot more difficult than being on-call for development support. In dev support, I can usually documentation on how to resolve a given issue. I can search my email for the same error or behavior, and my coworkers are faithful to document how they resolve any unique issues they come across. If I get to a point where I need help, I can enlist the assistance of an SME/Developer that commonly works on a given piece of code. When you're on-call with a baby, all the documentation in the world won't help you get your newborn to stop crying faster, you don't get any clear "error messages" to guide you to the most effective response, and you can't pass the baby off to another person if you can't figure out what's wrong.

And when you're on-call for development support, you get some much-needed rest and relaxation after your seven days of work. When you're on-call for a new baby, you've got at least a few months of duty before you're sleeping through the night.

As I look back at those long nights early on, I laugh and appreciate important things in my life: My wife, my son, my job and my coworkers.

– Greg

August 3, 2012

Work Hard, Prank Hard.

Hard work is nothing new to the SoftLayer staff — we strive for perfection in everything we do. We give ourselves strict deadlines, we always push ourselves to give the best support possible, and we make every effort to go above and beyond. Every now and then, we make sure to go above and beyond when it comes to having fun in the office, too.

I'm sure everyone has seen the 10,000 bouncy ball shower we gave SoftLayer COO Sam Fleitman for his birthday, and if you've been an avid blog reader for a while now, you'll remember the prank retaliation when John Eaves went to Hawaii and posted a picture of himself relaxing on Facebook with the caption 'Happy Truck Day.' After the rest of his team finished unloading and installing the servers that were delivered, they turned their attention to his desk. As you'd probably guess, those two pranks are only the tip of the iceberg.

If you walk through the office on any given day, chances are good that you'll see evidence of little pranks and inside jokes that we all play on each other. Sometimes it's subtle, like when a picture of a famous Canadian pop singer (No ... Not The Mitch) is posted by a coworkers desk:

SoftLayer Office

Sometime it's a little more ... obvious:

SoftLayer Office

Pretty recently, I returned to my desk to find my UFC fighters and Jersey Shore bobblehead action figures rearranged:

SoftLayer Office

Those innocent little pranks tend to get the wheels turning in the heads of the office pranksters, though: "What could be the next big office prank?" An anonymous group of SoftLayer employees heard that DAL05 Site Manager Joshua Daley (who led this DC tour) was going out of town for a couple of weeks, so he became the next target. Out of nowhere, someone came up with the genius idea of remodeling his office in Hello Kitty style, and that got the ball rolling. Soon enough, Post-it notes were worked into the plan, and somehow, it was decided that 1,000 inflated balloons would be involved.

The prank involved a significant amount of work, and it wouldn't have come together without an impressive group effort. Many technicians stayed after their shift and came in on their day off to help plan, decorate and blow up balloons, and the result was pretty impressive:

SoftLayer Office

SoftLayer Office

When Josh got back, he got a kick out the prank, and I think he had a little too much fun destroying all of our hard work:

The aftermath:

SoftLayer Office

If you walk through the office and notice a few technicians with shifty eyes, they're probably either keeping an eye out for pranksters that might be targeting them or scheming on their next prank victim. Speaking of which, I have some scheming to do ...

-Timothy

June 28, 2012

Never Break Up with Your Data Again

Wouldn't it be nice if you could keep the parts of a relationship that you like and "move on" from the parts you don't? You'd never have to go through the awkward "getting to know each other" phase where you accidentally order food the other person is allergic to, and you'd never have to experience a break up. As it is, we're faced with a bit of a paradox: Relationships are a lot of work, and "Breaking up is hard to do."

I could tell you story after story about the break ups I experienced in my youth. From the Ghostbuster-jumpsuited boyfriend I had in kindergarten who stole my heart (and my barrettes) to until it was time to take my had-to-have "My Little Pony" thermos lunchbox to another table at lunch after a dramatic recess exchange to the middle school boyfriend who took me to see Titanic in the theater four times (yes, you read that correctly), my early "romantic" relationships didn't pan out in the "happily ever after" way I'd hoped they would. Whether the result of an me unwelcome kiss under the monkey bars or a move to a different school (which might as well have been on Mars), I had to break up with each of the boys.

Why are you reading about my lost loves on the SoftLayer Blog? Simple: Relationships with IT environments — specifically applications and data — are not much different from romantic relationships. You might want to cut ties with a high maintenance piece of equipment that you've been with for years because its behavior is getting erratic, and it doesn't look like it'll survive forever. Maybe you've outgrown what your existing infrastructure can provide for you, and you need to move along. Perhaps you just want some space and need to take a break from a project for six months.

If you feel like telling your infrastructure, "It's not you, it's me," what are your options? Undo all of your hard work, schedule maintenance and stay up in the dead of a weeknight to migrate, backup and restore all of your data locally?

When I talk to SoftLayer customers, I get to be a relationship therapist. Because we've come out with some pretty innovative tools, we can help our customers avoid ever having to break up with their data again. Two of the coolest "infrastructure relationship"-saving releases: Flex Images (currently in public beta) and portable storage volumes for cloud computing instances (CCIs).

With Flex Images, customers using RedHat, CentOS or Windows systems can create and move server images between physical and virtual environments to seamlessly transition from one platform to the other. With about three clicks, a customer-created image is quickly and uniformly delivered to a new dedicated or cloud server. The idea behind Flex Images is to blur the line between physical and virtual environments so that if you feel the need to break up with one of the two, the other is able to take you in.

Portable storage volumes (PSVs) are secondary CCI volumes that can be added onto any public or private CCI. Users can detach a PSV from any CCI and have it persist in the cloud, unattached to any compute resource, for as long as necessary. When that storage volume is needed again, it can be re-attached as secondary storage on any other CCI across all of SoftLayer's facilities. The best relationship parallel would be "baggage," but that's got a negative connotation, so we'll have to come up with something else to call it ... "preparedness."

We want to help you avoid break ups and provide you easy channels to make up with your old infrastructure if you have a change of heart. The result is an infrastructure that's much easier to manage, more fluid and less dramatic.

Now if I can only figure out a way to make Flex Images and portable storage volumes available for real-life relationships .... I'd make millions! :-)

-Arielle

May 15, 2012

Addicted to SoftLayer ... And SoftLayer Customers

Chris Gardner (of The Pursuit of Happyness fame) said, "Find something that you love. Something that gets you so excited you can't wait to get out of bed in the morning. Forget about money. Be happy." Now I can't honestly tell you I'm able to "forget about money" or that I'm much of a morning person, but I'm quick to tell people that I love what I do. If you click through a few of the "Culture" posts on this blog, you'll read that I'm not alone. This week, I realized how many non-work interests SoftLayer plays a role in.

Beyond my closet-full of black and red shirts (many of which are visible in Tech Partner Spotlight video interviews on YouTube), even when I'm out of the office I find myself "checking on customers' servers" quite a bit ... I use quotes in there because that the justification I give myself for spending time (that I'd probably spend anyway) on platforms that leverage SoftLayer's infrastructure.

Because SoftLayer operates with an "Innovate or Die" mentality, we tend to attract customers that innovate in their own businesses. Whether that trend is intentional or not, it makes sense: Why would a fast-moving platform or application with massive growth and scaling needs be hosted with a provider taking "enterprise" time to provision a solution that ends up being "enterprise" only in name? "Enterprise Class" is not the same as "Internet Scale," and that distinction is pretty significant when a business might have one visitor on Monday and a million visitors on Tuesday. Platforms and applications that grow like that usually operate with a high level of what I like to call "awesomeness," so when they choose SoftLayer as a hosting provider, I feel like I need to investigate their awesomeness personally ... And that's how I've become a die-hard user of many of SoftLayer's customers.

One of my favorite customers to "check on" is Tumblr. If you aren't familiar with Tumblr, I recommend that you go to their site right now and immerse yourself in their community. I actually remember the day Tumblr signed on as a customer; I was genuinely excited that they'd be hosting on our platform. Even if that excitement was because I could justify having my Tumblr dashboard open in the background at work. I don't think anyone could have expected the platform to grow so phenomenally in a few years, but Tumblr's numbers are pretty staggering these days: 16.7 billion (yes, with a "B") monthly pageviews of 55.7 million blogs with 23.1 billion posts. I wasn't one of the first accounts on Tumblr, but I tell myself I have some kind of Tumblr cred ... And I use my "limited-edition" black background and Japanese dashboard logo to prove it:

Tumblr Dashboard

Another SoftLayer customer who's gotten a lot of press over the past month or two is OMGPOP. OMGPOP scaled "Draw Something" to tens of millions of users on SoftLayer's infrastructure (which you probably know), but what you probably didn't know is that as "Draw Something" started growing in the market, it was also spreading virally in our office. You'd be amazed at how many SLayers caught the bug. Here's one of Steve Kinman's works of art from a recent game:

Draw Something

While Tumblr and OMGPOP manage to snag a good amount of my free time, my most recent obsession has been playing NomNom Combo from Eastside Game Studios. I had a chance to meet a few of the guys from Eastside Games at GDC this year, and George Karidis told me that I should download NomNom Combo to check it out before I went to the launch party we sponsored for them in San Francisco. As it turns out, he created a monster ... By the time the party rolled around, I had to tear myself away from strategizing the best way to move up the game's all-time "Top Score" leader board. Two months later, I can say that all of my efforts have been validated:

Draw Something

I guess if I had to make a long story short, if you have an addictive app or game that you want to move to the SoftLayer platform, it would be brilliant move from a growth and scaling perspective. One request I'd have is that you warn me, though. I want to have time to bury my head in the sand so I don't get hooked on more SoftLayer-powered goodness ... I'm running out of "free time."

-@khazard

May 10, 2012

The SoftLayer API and its 'Star Wars' Sibling

When I present about the SoftLayer API at conferences and meetups, I often use an image that shows how many of the different services in the API are interrelated and connected. As I started building the visual piece of my presentation, I noticed a curious "coincidence" about the layout of the visualization:

SoftLayer API Visualization

What does that look like to you?

You might need to squint your eyes and tilt your head or "look beyond the image" like it's one of those "Magic Eye" pictures, but if you're a geek like me, you can't help but notice a striking resemblance to one of the most iconic images from Star Wars:

SoftLayer API == Death Star?

The SoftLayer API looks like the Death Star.

The similarity is undeniable ... The question is whether that resemblance is coincidental or whether it tells us we can extrapolate some kind of fuller meaning as in light of the visible similarities. I can hear KHazzy now ... "Phil, While that's worth a chuckle and all, there is no way you can actually draw a relevant parallel between the SoftLayer API and The Death Star." While Alderaan may be far too remote for an effective demonstration, this task is no match for the power of the Phil-side.

Challenge Accepted.

The Death Star: A large space station constructed by the Galactic Empire equipped with a super-laser capable of destroying an entire planet.

The SoftLayer API: A robust set of services and methods which provide programmatic access to all portions of the SoftLayer Platform capable of automating any task: administrative, configuration or otherwise.

Each is the incredible result of innovation and design. The construction of the Death Star and creation of the SoftLayer API took years of hard work and a significant investment. Both are massive in scale, and they're both effective and ruthless when completing their objectives.

The most important distinction: The Death Star was made to destroy while the SoftLayer API was made to create ... The Death Star was designed to subjugate a resistance force and destroy anything in the empire's way. The SoftLayer API was designed to help customers create a unified, automated way of managing infrastructure; though in the process, admittedly that "creation" often involves subjugating redundant, compulsory tasks.

The Death Star and the SoftLayer API can both seem pretty daunting. It can be hard to find exactly what you need to solve all of your problems ... Whether that be an exhaust port or your first API call. Fear not, for I will be with you during your journey, and unlike Obi-Wan Kenobi, I'm not your only hope. There is no need for rebel spies to acquire the schematics for the API ... We publish them openly at sldn.softlayer.com, and we encourage our customers to break the API down into the pieces of functionality they need.

-Phil (@SoftLayerDevs)

March 30, 2012

Very Casual Fridays

One of the best things about working at SoftLayer is that we get awesome freebies. In the last year, I have seen a servers given away to authors of the best SoftLayer-themed Haikus, employees have won Apple iPads, solid state drives, extra vacation days, Napa Valley wine tasting trips and finely aged booze in fundraisers for the American Heart Association. On any given day, you'll see people handing out swag, snacks, beverages and catered meals. SLayers can get tickets to Rangers and Cowboys games, we have some great Happy Hour events, and our company parties are legendary. I thought I'd seen it all, but I was given something I never would have expected:

Chris (co-worker): "They gave you a tank?"
Me: "It's not a tank, it's a 1/24th scale REMOTE CONTROLLED BATTLE TANK TYPE 90, and it fires real missiles! I also got a coffee mug with a submerged octopus inside"
Chris: "But why would they gave you a tank?"
Me: "..."

Chris's incredulous tone was not surprising. I'm fairly certain the answer to his last question was not supposed to be, "So I'd bring it into corporate headquarters the next day, break it out around 5:00pm, and explore the (quite impressive) range of the 6mm missiles and their (again, quite impressive) ability to welt my colleagues."

Fast forward a few days, and in the midst of a celebration for the SoftLayer Engineering Team's completion of a recent project roll-out, a 1/24th scale battle erupted. As 20-30 members of the development team looked on (alongside our CTO and a few vice presidents who supplied "refreshments"), a convoy of RC Helicopters and my tank are in an all-out war. The battle tank misfires into a swarm of developers who scatter in chaos, and Chris peers over my cube wall ... "I can't believe they gave you a tank."

In light of those "unanticipated team-building exercises," I decided to jot down a few optimistic suggestions for Lance and the management that came to mind for how we could continue building SoftLayer's culture. Being comfortable and having a fun work environment improves employee productivity and reinforces the investment SoftLayer is making in its people, so we should totally be able to justify these! Here are a few ideas that came to mind (that probably won't cause anyone to loose an eye):

  • Omelet Chef and Bacon Buffet

    It's not just an old wives tale; numerous sources say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. What better breakfast than all-you-can-eat crisp bacon and a Denver omelet cooked to order by a professional wearing a toque blanche and masterfully flipping frying pans?

  • Bring your Dog to Work Day Mandatory Policy

    Running home at lunch and/or after work to let out "Diesel" or "Delilah" cuts into employee availability. What's more, dogs in the office raise employee morale, subsequently improving productivity.

  • 3 Bars Logo Bow Ties

    Classier swag ... for the discerning gentleman.

  • Air Hockey, Table Tennis and Foosball Tournaments

    We have a lot of nerds 'round here, and exercise intended to prevent carpal tunnel syndrome can easily look like playing Foosball in slow motion. I propose we re-purpose the SLacker conference room and retrofit it with an arcade in the interest of improving employee health.

  • More Cake

    Forget Wheaties. Cake for breakfast a few days a week would provide a suitable alternative to the aforementioned bacon + omelet combo, and it would help soak up the all the free Frappacinos we drink.

  • Preemptively Remove Brown M&M's from DAL05

    "Welcome to SoftLayer. You're here because you're a rock star." - Lance Crosby, Employee Handbook, Page 1.

    When Van Halen added a blurb about brown M&M's to their tour rider, it wasn't (entirely) to show how awesome they knew they were; it was to quickly ascertain if a venue had read through the contract details ... If there were brown M&M's in the bowl, who knew whether their equipment would have been treated the way it was explained in the contract. Selectively banning certain colors of M&M's would be a great way to show visiting customers and vendors the attention to detail that goes on behind the scenes.

  • SoftLayer-Branded Shirts that Read, "I am a battle tank shooting survivor."

    I'm going to need about three of these ... stat.

If you want to join our team, we're hiring a ton of people right now: SoftLayer Careers ... Given the fact that there are 18 open positions for new SLayers in Dallas, it might be good to stock up on a few extra "Survivor" shirts.

-Nalin

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