Funny Posts

August 28, 2015

Under the Infrastructure: It’s all about personality with server build technician Yoan-Aleksandar Spasov

Are you ready, folks? It’s time, once again, to lift our cloud high and put some SLayer sparkle into your sky. Last week, we went Under the Infrastructure to introduce you to Mathijs Dubbe, a sales engineer in Amsterdam. This week, we’re staying abroad in The Netherlands so you can meet Yoan-Aleksandar Spasov, a server build technician who’s been with us just shy of a year.

SoftLayer: Tell us about a day in the life of a server build technician.

Yoan-Aleksandar Spasov: It’s very different in Europe, because we rotate between three shifts depending on which month it is (as far as I know in the states, you get a permanent shift, so you only stay on that shift). We start in the mornings, evenings, or nights. You begin by picking up what’s left over from the shift before, so hopefully it’s not too big of a hand-off. We have a task list that lists the primaries and secondaries for each person on shift. Of course, there will be people who are better at transactions, hardware, or maintenance. So you get to do what you are good at, and you get to working. If you’ve been with Softlayer for a while, you’ll end up being good with everything.

SL: What shift are you on right now?

Spasov: I’m on the evening shift, so I start at 2 p.m. and I work until 11 p.m. Each shift is very different. During the day shift, you have management available to you so that you can do more projects. The evening shift is more customer-oriented because the states are just waking up, and we’re getting all those orders; there are a lot of builds and servers that need attention. The night shift is quiet and it’s mainly maintenance, so you have upgrades and things like that.

SL: We didn’t even think about that. That does make it pretty different.

Spasov: Yup.

SL: What’s the coolest thing about your job?

Spasov: There are so many things, to be honest. For me, it’s been awesome because I’m very young and I just started, so this is one of my first real real jobs. I had no real data center knowledge before I started. I started from scratch, and the whole team taught me. That’s one of the coolest parts of my job – you get awesome training. The other thing is that you get to work with amazing people and amazing teams. Everything else is hardware. We have awesome gear that you don’t get to see everywhere. It’s awesome. It’s amazing. It’s a privilege to work with that many components and that volume of components.

SL: How’d you get into this role? Since you didn’t have any prior data center experience, what’s your background?

Spasov: I had some hardware experience. I built PCs. I’ve always liked computers and electronics, and then I got into servers, and I’m learning something new every day.

SL: This piggybacks a bit on what we just talked about, but what does it take to become a server build technician? What kind of training, experience, or natural curiosities do you need?

Spasov: You must have amazing attention to detail; that’s very important. You have to follow protocols, which are there for a reason. You have to learn a lot. It’s not only just basic knowledge that you need to know, but it’s also the ability to find the knowledge and research it in the moment, whenever you have issues to deal with or any problems. You have to be able to reach out to other people and be able to look into documentation so we can learn from previous occurrences.

SL: Did you need a specific degree? We get this question a lot on our YouTube channel, and people are always asking, “How did you get that job? What kind of training do you need for that job? Where do you start for that kind of job? Do you have to go to school for this?”

Spasov: Having a technical degree or technical knowledge is good; that’s a definite plus. But even if you start without any hardware knowledge, you can build on the training from the company. It’s very specific with SoftLayer because we have our one-of-a-kind internal management system. You can’t learn about it anywhere else besides our company. If you knew other systems, you might try to draw parallels between the two, and that’s not going to work. It’s completely different. And that’s what makes SoftLayer so unique.

SL: Tell me something that you think nobody knows about being a server build technician.

Spasov: I have a feeling that a lot of customers think that there isn’t a person on the other side and that it’s all automated. But there’s a personality behind every update. There’s someone thinking about it and what to write and how to communicate with the customer to make them feel better, more secure, and to show that they’re in good hands.

SL: That’s a really good point. We’ll bet a lot don’t realize how many people go into making SoftLayer “SoftLayer.” It’s not just processes.

Spasov: That’s right.

SL: Do you have a plan in the event of a zombie apocalypse?

Spasov: I’m going to hide in the data center because I’m sure we’ll have the supplies. Our office manager stocks food for us, so I’m sure we’ll last a while.

SL: [laughing] That’s a good plan.

Those saucy SLayers get us every time.

We’re feelin’ it. Are you feelin’ it? (You know you are.) Then come back next week for the latest and greatest Under the Infrastructure, where we’re peeling back the cloud layer like it’s going out of style.

-Fayza

August 21, 2015

Under the Infrastructure: Get International with Sales Engineer Mathijs Dubbe

Did you have oh-so-much fun meeting client services rep Neil Thomas last week? We sure hope so.

The fun continues because now you’re in for another sweet SLayer treat. This week in Under the Infrastructure, peek into the world of sales engineer Mathijs Dubbe. He’s based in Amsterdam and has been holding down the fort there since April 2015.

SoftLayer: How’d you end up at SoftLayer, Mathijs?

Mathijs Dubbe: I was an infrastructure and data services consultant at a data center and cloud hosting provider in the Netherlands, so [the sales engineer opportunity at SoftLayer] was pretty similar to what I was already doing. I’d known [about SoftLayer] for quite a while already. I’d seen it before and checked out what they were doing, and it sounded like fun. I’d seen the YouTube videos, with truck days and setting up pods, and that appealed to me. It was innovative.

SL: What does a typical day look like at SoftLayer in your shoes?

Dubbe: When I get to the office, I look at the tickets that remain from the last shift and clean them up. I’ll start my day by checking my email and seeing what my colleagues in Amsterdam are up to. During the day, there will be conference calls and meetings, things like that.

SL: How many black SoftLayer shirts do you own?

Dubbe: Three.

SL: That’s pretty good. Your collection is getting started! At this point, you’re still wearing other clothes to work besides SoftLayer shirts? Because there are some people who only wear SoftLayer gear.

Dubbe: When I have enough shirts, I’ll probably do that [laughs]. I’m currently in the IBM building, so I like to show off the brand.

SL: You’ve gotta represent, right?

Dubbe: Yeah.

SL: What have you learned working at SoftLayer?

Dubbe: A lot of stuff, actually. Related to international business, my former employer was fairly regional, but at SoftLayer, there are many international customers and that’s quite fun. I’ve learned about different kinds of people with different languages and accents; people working in Israel on Sundays. In a technical sense, it’s similar to what I did, but the technical stuff is always architected in a different way. I’ve learned quite a bit since I got here.

SL: We agree with your point about the international scale. You’re dealing with an office in Singapore and an office in Amsterdam and dealing with different languages and everyone in between, so it’s pretty dynamic.

Dubbe: I like that, too.

SL: What was the last costume that you wore?

Dubbe: [laughs] Costume? I dressed up like a road worker once.

SL: You did? For what?

Dubbe: For Carnival in February. I’m not usually the kind of guy that goes [to those sorts of things], but sometimes it’s fun. It’s not like anything they have in Brazil, though.

SL: That sounds like a really good time.

Aren’t SLayers the greatest? (We know you’re nodding.) That’s why you’ll want to stay tuned for our next installment of Under the Infrastructure, where we’ll wade waist-deep into the SLayer cloud.

-Fayza

August 14, 2015

Under the Infrastructure: Nerding out with Client Services Rep Neil Thomas

Sure, we know SoftLayer is your most favorite cloud provider under the sun. (And we totally heart you back.) But how well do you know us—the individual brains and brawn beneath our cloud? Yeah, we had a feeling you’d give us that blank look. Luckily for you, we’re going to fix that snafu. Starting right now.

Today we're launching a series that’ll introduce us to you, one SLayer at a time. Enter ”Under the Infrastructure.” We SLayers are a diverse, fascinating, and storied bunch. So come on in, kick off your shoes, and get to know the gang.

To kick things off, you’re going to meet Neil Thomas, a client services representative who has been stationed at our global headquarters in Dallas (DAL11, for those keeping score at home) for six months.



“That’s Liam. He’s a chunk, and outside of work, he’s my whole world.”

SoftLayer: So, Neil, tell us about a day in the life of a client services representative.

Neil Thomas: The client services team is responsible for many things. The most important one being, in my opinion, customer education. We are tasked with contacting new customers at set intervals (five days, 30 days, and 90 days from account creation) and making sure they stay informed on the platform's offerings and capabilities. I come in each day, log into all my tools and websites, and start calling new customers—anywhere from 30 to 80 customers a day. We also help identify new sales leads and handle some customer complaints, as long as they don't require a representative from accounting or support.

SL: So your inbox is definitely not at zero.

Thomas: Correct! It's busy, but it's satisfying being able to help customers with what they need.

SL: What's your favorite thing about being a SLayer, half a year in?

Thomas: Everyone here seems die-hard dedicated to what they do, and that seems to bring the whole team closer together. I love that for such a large company, everyone seems so close-knit. Coming from a 50-employee MSP, I didn't think I would find that here.

SL: That is definitely the SoftLayer way!

Thomas: And everyone seems to actually care about what the customer is going through and what the customer needs. Most companies tout that they are about that, when in reality, it's all bottom line.

SL: What have you learned since working at SoftLayer?

Thomas: I come from a technical background, having been a systems administrator and working a ticket queue. While I was comfortable talking on the phone and handling customer service needs, I've really had to develop my interpersonal skills to engage the customer and get them to open up. The SoftLayer employee atmosphere has helped me do just that. I didn't have much sales experience, and the guys in the sales department have really helped me understand what it's like to have a good conversation with a customer.

SL: Was it difficult for you?

Thomas: It was difficult at first, but it gets easier every day. There's a tremendous amount of support from my teammates and leadership to help me grow in the ways that I need to grow.

SL: Describe your work space for us.

Thomas: I'm a nerd. Always have been, always will be. My cube has a plush Tux (the Linux mascot), a remote controlled Ferrari Enzo, and a few collectors' edition PEZ dispenser sets. The cubes are low enough to socialize with employees or pop up for a quick question, but not tall enough to make you feel isolated from the rest of the world, like a normal cube farm would be.

SL: If we weren't all nerds, we wouldn't work at SoftLayer, right? Nerds are the best.

Thomas: I wholeheartedly agree.

SL: What would you do if you were the lone survivor in a plane crash?

Thomas: Everyone says that you should buy a lottery ticket in situations like that. I think it should be the opposite, because if you've survived a plane crash, then obviously that's sucked up most of your luck.

SL: Good point.

Thomas: Assuming I'd crashed in a place that was an easy rescue, or had been randomly happened upon were it to crash on a deserted island, I'd more than likely take a long time off and spend it with my wife and my son, Liam. I'm a workaholic, though, so even if I got a book or movie deal, I'd still keep my day job and work the rest of my life.

SL: Would you make up a Lost-type story or would it be strictly factual?

Thomas: It would probably end up being a mix of both. The systems admin in me would want to stick to the facts, while the sci-fi nerd in me would want to embellish. I'd probably throw a mix together and let people’s imaginations run wild.

SL: You gotta take creative license when the situation permits.

Thomas: Definitely.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg, folks. Join us for our next segment of Under the Infrastructure, where we’ll keep diving into the deepest depths of the cloud, SLayer by SLayer.

-Fayza

December 24, 2014

Holiday Traditions

Whether you believe in Santa Claus or not, there’s just something about this time of year that makes us giddy for tradition. For me the holiday season isn’t complete until I’ve watched National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. Watching their “fun, old-fashioned family Christmas” turn into a “full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency” has turned into a yearly tradition that helps make my in-laws (and my family for that matter) seem just a little bit more jolly to be around this time of year—who doesn’t have an Aunt Bethany or Cousin Eddie hiding in their family tree somewhere?

We didn’t create a new holiday song this year (we’ve been busy opening data centers!), so we’re presenting our 12 Days of Christmas rendition again. Between decking the halls and dashing through the snow, we’d like to invite you to add a new tradition to your cloud holiday season.

Enjoy.

-JRL

December 4, 2014

Advice from the Catalyst Team: Pitching Like George Lucas

SoftLayer’s Catalyst team hears startup pitches constantly.

We support more than 50 accelerator programs in the Global Accelerator Network, the TechStars programs, five hundred startups, and more. We hold office hours, offer pitch practice, and attend demo days—in short, we hear a lot of pitches.

Condensing the essence of how you’re changing the world into a five minute sales pitch, while still including other key elements like the business model, traction, early wins, team, and “the ask” is incredibly difficult. There’s a lot of ground to cover and very little time to do it, especially when you consider that likely half of your audience is focused on their phones.

A pitch must be concise, informative, and attention grabbing. The worst thing you can do is pitch like George Lucas’ dialogue in the Star Wars  prequel trilogy movies—clumsy and over-explaining.

  • Yoda: Always two there are, no more, no less, a master and an apprentice.
  • Mace Windu: But which was destroyed, the master or the apprentice?

This particular quote is the epitome of terrible dialogue because it communicates the same thing multiple times; the second line is superfluous. I don’t need Mace Windu to re-explain to me exactly what Yoda just said. I have ears. I’m paying attention. Imagine how much more powerful that scene would be with just the first statement.

Most of us have a natural tendency to over-explain a point, but by doing this, we insult the intelligence of our audience. Plus, over-explaining eats up precious time and causes the crowd to disengage. I can’t think of a worse combination.

If you find yourself saying any of these phrases, cut them immediately:

Let me show you . . .
I’d like to tell you . . .
I’m going to . . .
I think . . .
For example . . .
As I said before . . .

Simply put, don’t tell me you’re going to tell me something. Just tell me.

George Lucas did write some great lines of dialogue. Watch the Dagobah scenes in Empire Strikes Back. Yoda’s lines are pure brilliance. The message is simple and powerful, which makes it one of the most memorable lines in cinema.

“Do or do not. There is no try.”

During a pitch, you’re not writing a screenplay, so you don’t want to leave your audience guessing, but you still need to explain the problem, the solution, and why you’re the best at solving it. Don’t leave your audience confused from a lack of information, but don’t insult their intelligence by telling them you’re going to tell them something. Just tell it. Or better yet, show it.

You want your pitch to be like a Lightsaber: an elegant weapon for a more civilized age.

-Rich

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September 18, 2014

The Cloud Doesn't Bite, Part III

Why it's OK to be a server-hugger—a cloud server hugger.

(This is the final post in a three-part series. Read the first and second posts here.)

By now, you probably understand the cloud enough to know what it is and does. Maybe it's something you've even considered for your own business. But you're still not sold. You still have nagging concerns. You still have questions that you wish you could ask, but you're pretty sure no cloud company would dignify those questions with an honest, legitimate response.

Well we’re a cloud company, and we’ll answer those questions.

Inspired by a highly illuminating (!) thread on Slashdot about the video embedded below, we've noticed that some of you aren't ready to get your head caught up in the cloud just yet. And that's cool. But let's see if maybe we can put a few of those fears to rest right now.

“[The] reason that companies are hesitant to commit all of their IT to the cloud [relates to] keeping control. It's not about jobs, it's about being sure that critical services are available when you need them. Whenever you see ‘in the CLOUD!’, mentally replace it with ‘using someone else's server’—all of a sudden it looks a whole lot less appealing. Yes, you gain some flexibility, but you lose a LOT of control. I like my data to not be in the hands of someone else. If I don't control the actual machine that has my data on it, then I don't control the data.”

You guys are control FREAKS! And rightfully so. But some of us actually don't take that away from you. Believe it or not, we make it easier for you.

In fact, sometimes you even get to manage your own infrastructure—and that means you can do anything an employee can do. You'll probably even get so good at it that you'll wonder why we don't pay you.

But it doesn't stop at mere management. Oh, no, no, no, friends. You can even take it one further and build, manage, and have total control over your very own private cloud of virtual servers. Yes, yours, and yours only. Now announcing you, the shot caller.

The point is, you don't lose control over your data in the cloud. None. 'Cause cloud companies don't play like that.

“The first rule of computer security is physical access, which is impossible with cloud services, which means they are inherently insecure.”

Curious. So since you can't physically touch your money in your bank account, does that mean it's a free-for-all on your savings? Let us know; we'll bring buckets.

“These cloud guys always forget to mention one glaring problem with their model— they're not adding any new software to the picture.”

Ready for us to blow your minds? We're actually adding software all the time; you just don't see it—but you do feel it.

Your friendly Infrastructure as a Service (IaaS) providers out there are doing a lot of development behind the scenes. An internal software update might let us deploy servers 10 minutes faster, for example. You won't see that, but that doesn't mean it's not happening. If you're happy with your servers, then rest assured you're seeing some sweet software in action. Some cloud companies aren't exclusively focused on software (think Salesforce), but that doesn't mean the software is dial-up grade.

“I personally don't trust the cloud. Think about it for a moment. You are putting your data on a server, and you have no clue as to where it is. You have no clue about who else is able to see that data, and you have no clue about who is watching as you access your data and probably no clue if that server is up to date on security patches.”

Just ask. Simply ask all these questions, and you'd have all these answers. Not to be cheeky, but all of this is information you can and do have a right to know before you commit to anything. We're not sure what makes you think you don't, but you do. Your own due diligence on behalf of your data makes that a necessity, not a luxury.

“As long as I'm accountable, I want the hardware and software under my control. That way when something goes wrong and my boss calls and asks 'WTF?', I can give him something more than ’Well I called Amazon and left a message with our account representative.’"

We can't speak for Amazon, but cloud companies often offer multiple ways you can get a hold of a real, live person because we get that you want to talk to us, like, yesterday. Yes, we totally get you. And we want to fix whatever ails you. In the cloud, that is.

But what makes you think we won't know when something goes wrong before you do? (Checkmate.)

“No matter how much marketing jargon you spew at people, ‘the cloud’ is still just a bunch of servers. Stop lying.”

Why yes, yes, it is. Who's lying to you about that? You're right. "They" should stop lying.

The concept of "the cloud" is simply about where the servers are located and how you consume computing, storage, and networking resources. In "the cloud," your servers are accessed remotely via a network connection (often the Internet, for most of the clouds you know and love) as opposed to being locally accessed while housed in a server room or physical location on the company premises. Your premises, as in wherever you are while performing your computing functions. But no one's trying to pull the wool over your eyes with that one.

Think about it this way: If servers at your location are "on the ground," then servers away from your location can be considered "in the cloud." And that's all there is to it.

Did we help? Did we clear the cloudy haze? We certainly hope so.

But this is just the beginning, and our door is always open for you to question, criticize, and wax philosophical with us when it comes to all things cloud. So get at us. You can chat with us live via our homepage, message us or post up on Facebook, or sling a tweet at a SLayer. We've got real, live people manning their stations. Consider the gauntlet thrown.

-Fayza

September 11, 2014

The Cloud Doesn't Bite, Part II

Why it's OK to be a server hugger—a cloud server hugger.

(This is the second post in a three-part series. Read the first post here.)

By now, you probably understand the cloud enough to know what it is and does. Maybe it's something you've even considered for your own business. But you're still not sold. You still have nagging concerns. You still have questions that you wish you could ask, but you're pretty sure no cloud company would dignify those questions with an honest, legitimate response.

Well we’re a cloud company, and we’ll answer those questions.

Inspired by a highly illuminating (!) thread on Slashdot about the video embedded below, we've noticed that some of you aren't ready to get your head caught up in the cloud just yet. And that's cool. But let's see if maybe we can put a few of those fears to rest right now.

"[With the cloud], someone you don't know manages [your cloud servers], and they can get really unaccountable at times."

Hmm. Sounds like somebody's had a bad experience. (We're sorry to hear that.) But in truth, cloud computing companies are nothing without reputation, integrity, and, well, security upon security upon security measures. Accountability is the name of the game when it comes to you trusting us with your critical information. Research, research, research the company you choose before you hand anything over. If the measures that a potential cloud provider take don't cut the mustard with you, jump ship immediately—your business is way too important! But you're bound to find one that has all the necessary safeguards in place to provide you with plenty of peace of mind.

Oh, and by the way, have we mentioned that some cloud infrastructure providers put the deployment, management, and control in the hands of their customers? Yup. They just hand the reins right over and give you complete access to easy-to-use management tools, so you can automate your cloud solution to fit your unique needs. So there's that.

"The nickel-and-dime billing that adds up awfully damned quickly. Overall, if you're not careful you can rack upwards of $4k/mo just to host a handful of servers with hot backups and a fair amount of data and traffic on them."

You're right. That's why it's important to plan your cloud architecture before you go jumping in. Moving to the cloud isn't something you do with your eyes closed and with a lack of information. Know your company's business needs and find the best solution that fits those needs—every single one of those needs. Be realistic. Assess intelligently. Know your potential provider's add-on costs (if any) ahead of time so that you can anticipate them. Sure, add-ons can pile up if you're caught off-guard. But we know you're too smart for that to be a problem.

Play around with your possibilities before you sign on that dotted line. If you can't, search for a provider who'll let you play before you pay.

"Many cloud services break many privacy laws. The service provider can see/use the data too. Some of us are even bound by law to maintain the integrity of certain classes of information (personal, medical, financial). Yielding physical control to another organization, no matter what their reputation, removes your ability to perform due diligence. How do I know that what I legally have to keep private really is private?"

Sigh. Okay, we hear this fear; we really do, but it's just not true. Not for any reputable cloud solutions provider that wants to stay in business, anyway. We, grown-ups of cloud computing, take the security of your data very, very seriously. There are hackers. There are malicious attacks. There are legal compliance issues. And for those, we have Intrusion Protection Software, firewalls, SSL certificates, and compliance standards, just to name a few. We can handle what you throw at us, and we respect and honor the boundaries of your data.

So let's talk nitty gritty details. You're probably most familiar with the public cloud, or virtual servers. Yes, infrastructure platforms are shared, but that doesn't mean they're pooled—and it certainly doesn't mean universal accessibility. Your virtual server is effectively siloed from the virtual servers of every other client on that public server, and your data is accessible by you and only you. If you think about it like an apartment complex, it makes a lot of sense. The building itself is multi-tenant, but only you have the key to the contents of your individual unit.

On the other hand, bare metal servers are mansions. You're the only one taking up residence on that dedicated server. That big bad house is yours, and the shiny key belongs to you, and you only. (Check you out, Mr. Big Stuff.) You have complete and utter control of this server, and you can log, monitor, and sic the dogs on any and all activity occurring on it. Bare metal servers do share racks and other network gear with other bare metal servers, but you actually need that equipment to ensure complete isolation for your traffic and access. If we use the real estate analogy again and bare metal servers are mansions, then anything shared between bare metal servers are access roads in gated communities and exist only to make sure the mailman, newspaper delivery boy, and milkman can deliver the essential items you need to function. But no one's coming through that front door without your say so.

We cloud folk love our clients, and we love housing and protecting their data—not sneaking peeks at it and farming it out. Your security means as much to us as it means to you. And those who don't need access don't have it. Plain and simple.

"I don't want [my data] examined, copied, or accidentally Googled."

You don't say? Neither do we.

"What happens to my systems when all of your CxOs decide that they need more yachts so they jack up the pricing?"

They stay put, silly. No one takes systems on the boat while yachting. Besides, we don't do yachts here at SoftLayer—we prefer helicopters.

Stay tuned for the last post in this series, where we discuss your inner control freak, invisible software, and real, live people.

-Fayza

September 3, 2014

The Cloud Doesn’t Bite, Part I

Why it's OK to be a server hugger—a cloud server hugger.

By now, you probably understand the cloud enough to know what it is and does. Maybe it's something you've even considered for your own business. But you're still not sold. You still have nagging concerns. You still have questions that you wish you could ask, but you're pretty sure no cloud company would dignify those questions with an honest, legitimate response.

Well we’re a cloud company, and we’ll answer those questions.

Inspired by a highly illuminating (!) thread on Slashdot about the video embedded below, we've noticed that some of you aren't ready to get your head caught up in the cloud just yet. And that's cool. But let's see if maybe we can put a few of those fears to rest right now.

"I'm worried about cloud services going down or disappearing, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it."

Let's just get one thing straight here: we're human, and the devices and infrastructures and networks we create are fallible. They're intelligent and groundbreaking and mind-boggling, but they are—like us—susceptible to bad things and prone to error at any given time.

But it's not the end of the world if or when it happens. Your cloud service provider has solutions. And so do you.

First, be smart about who you choose to work with. The larger, more reputable a company you select, the less likely you are to experience outages or outright disappearances. It's the nature of the beast—the big guys aren't going out of business any time soon. And if the worst should happen, they're not going down without a fight for your precious data.

Most outages end up being mere temporary blips that generally don’t last long. It'd take a major disaster (think hurricane or zombie apocalypse) to take any cloud-based platform out for more than a few hours. Which, of course, sounds like a long time, but we're talking worst case scenario here. And in the event of a zombie apocalypse, you probably have bigger fish to fry anyway.

But the buck doesn't stop there. Moving data to the cloud doesn't mean you get to kick up your heels, and set cruise control. (You don't really want that anyway, and you know it.) Be proactive. Know your service-level agreements, and make sure your system structures are built in a way that you're not losing out when it comes to outages and downtime. Know your provider's plan for redundancy. Know what monitoring systems are in place. Identify which applications and data are critical and should be treated differently in the event of a worst case scenario. Have a plan in the event of doomsday. You wouldn't go head first into sharknado season without a strategy for what to do if disaster hits, right? Why would the (unlikely) downfall of your data be any different?

Remember when we backed things up to external hard drives; before we'd ever heard of that network in the sky (a quaint concept, we know)? Well, we think it would behoove you to have a backup of what's essential to you and your business.

In fact, being realistic about technology these days is paramount. We can't prevent failure because we know better. According to Microsoft's chief reliability strategist, David Bills, "It's about designing resilient services in which inevitable failures have a minimal effect on service availability and functionality."

In any event, don't panic. You think you're freaking out about the cloud going down? Chances are, your provider is one step ahead of you already.

"Most of the time you don't find out about the cloud host's deficiencies until far too late." "One cloud company I had a personal Linux server with got hit with a DOS attack, and their response was to ignore their customer service email and phone for almost a week while trying to clean it up.”

Uh. Call us crazy, but we're guessing that company's no longer around—just a hunch.

We cloud infrastructure providers don't exactly pride ourselves on hoarding your data and then being completely inaccessible to you. Do your research on potential providers. Find out how easy it is (or difficult as the case may be) to get a hold of your customer service team. Make sure your potential provider's customer support meets your business needs. Make sure there's extra expertise available to you if you need personal attention or a little TLC. Make sure those response times are to your liking. Make sure those methods of contact are diverse enough and align with the way you do work.

We know you don't want to need us, but when you do need us, we are here for you.

"Of course, you have to either provide backup yourself, or routinely hard-verify the cloud provider's backup scheme. And you'd better have a backup-backup offsite recovery contract for when the cloud provider announces it can't really recover (e.g. Hurricane Sandy). And a super-backup-backup plan in case the cloud provider disappears with no forwarding address or has all its servers confiscated by DHS."

Hey, you don't have to have any of these things if your data's not that important to you. But if you'd have backups of your local servers, why wouldn't you have backups of anything you put in the cloud?

We thought so.

Nota bene: Sounds like you might want to take up some of this beef with Hurricane Sandy.

Stay tuned for part two where we tackle accountability, security, and buying ourselves new yachts.

- Fayza

January 15, 2014

Keep Spending Most Our Lives Livin' in a Gamer's Paradise

With apologies to Coolio, I couldn't resist adapting a line from the chorus of "Gangsta's Paradise" to be the title of this blog post. While I could come up with a full, cringe-worthy cloud computing version of the song (and perform it), I'll save myself the embarrassment and instead focus on why "Gamer's Paradise" came to mind in the first place. We announced some amazing stats about two gaming customers that use SoftLayer's cloud infrastructure to power popular online games, and I thought I'd share an interesting observation about that news.

More than 130 million gamers rely on SoftLayer infrastructure. SoftLayer is virtually invisible to those gamers. And that's why gaming companies love us.

When would a gamer care where a game is hosted? Simple: When gameplay is unavailable, lagging, or otherwise underperforming. Because we deliver peak cloud performance consistently for our gaming customers, we'll continue to live in the shadows of gamers' collective consciousness (while taking center stage in the minds of game producers and developers).

It's easy to get caught up in discussing the technical merits of our cloud hosting platform. Speeds and feeds provide great metrics for explaining our infrastructure, but every now and then, it's worthwhile to step back and look at the forest for the trees. Instead of talking about how bare metal resources consistently outperform their virtual server equivalents, let's take a look at why our gaming customers need as much server horsepower as we can provide:

As you can see, the games we're hosting for our customers are a little more resource-intensive than Tic-tac-toe and Pong. By leveraging SoftLayer bare metal infrastructure, gaming companies such as KUULUU and Multiplay can seamlessly support high definition gameplay in massive online environments for gamers around the world. When KUULUU launched their wildly popular LP Recharge Facebook game, they trusted our platform all the way from beta testing through launch, daily play, and updates. When Multiplay needed to support 25,000 new users in Battlefield 4, they spun up dedicated SoftLayer resources in less than four hours. If gamers expect a flawless user experience, you can imagine how attentive to infrastructure needs gaming companies are.

As more and more users sign on to play games online with Multiplay, KUULUU, and other gaming customers on our platform, we'll celebrate crossing even bigger (and more astounding) milestones like the 130 million mark we're sharing today. In the meantime, I'm going to go "check on our customers' servers" with a few hours of gameplay ... You know, for the good of our customers.

-@khazard

More Info: Multiplay and KUULUU Launch Games with SoftLayer, an IBM Company - Gaming companies flock to SoftLayer’s cloud, adding to 130 million players worldwide

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May 29, 2013

Tips from the Abuse Department: To Catch a Predator

We've all seen the emails exclaiming, "THE KING HAS SENT YOU 1,000,000$ US DOLLARS," or "I NEED A PERSONAL ASSISTANT PAYING 500$ A WEEK." Do people actually fall for these? The answer is YES, many do. They think, "What risk is there replying to this email and possibly getting $1,000,000 or even a fraction of that?" As it turns out, there's a lot of risk.

As the senior manager of SoftLayer's abuse department, I know all about these kinds of scams, and I thought I'd reply to one of those emails to show what the interaction usually looks like and explain how the scam works.

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From: "Freddy Scammer" <scammer@address>
To: "Freddy Scammer" <scammer@address>
Subject: PA URGENTLY NEEDED

Hi, I am looking for a Personal Assistant, Kindly let me know if you are interested, and i can send you more details. Thank you

Freddy Scammer
---------------------------------------------

First, notice that my address email address isn't listed in the TO field or even the CC field. I must be BCC'd along with many others. I've changed the scammer's fake name to a more fitting name, and I'll use masculine pronouns when I talk about "him." According to our friends over at 419scam.org, this guy has been flagged as a scammer using the same name and email address. The name he provided actually belongs to a company that produces lamps as well as an American historian who focuses on colonization, decolonization and African history.

In the initial message, you'll see that there's no "all or nothing" proposition. Just like any scam, the scammer requests and provides information slowly to reel in a victim.

I replied back:

---------------------------------------------
From: <MY-EMAIL-ADDRESS>
To: <scammer@address>
Subject: RE: PA URGENTLY NEEDED

Doing What?
---------------------------------------------

I wanted to keep it short to see if I could get him to tell me more. He didn't disappoint:

---------------------------------------------
From: Freddy Scammer <scammer@address>
To: <MY-EMAIL-ADDRESS>
Subject: Re: PA URGENTLY NEEDED

Hello

Thanks for your reply, I got your email through the Chamber of Commerce directory. I am looking for someone who can handle my business errands during his or her spare time. I need your service because I am constantly traveling abroad on a missionary trip to build homes for orphaned children and doing other business as we are franchise company into alot of things.

Responsibilities:
1. Receive my mail and drop them off. {Your location doesn't matter as long as you have a post office nearby}
2. Pay my bills.
3. pay our workers on a regular basis

I would have love to meet with you to discuss this job in more detail, but I am currently away on a missionary trip. If you decide to accept the position, please read the employment requirements listed below.
REQUIREMENTS:
A. You are an honest and trustworthy citizen.
B. You need to be able to check your email regular and answer calls.

The pay is $500 weekly and you are entitled to other additional incentives after 1 month if you are hardworking. First, If I were to mail you a payment to
pay people that are needed to and your payment for your service, where would you want it mailed to?

Secondly, how would you like your name to appear on the payment? Note, payment would come in form of Check.

Provide me with the following details below to get started.

Full Name:
Complete Address(No PO Box allowed):
City:
State:
Country:
Zip Code:
Home Phone:
Cell Phone:
Age:
Occupation(If any):
Alternative Email if available:

Awaiting your prompt reply.
---------------------------------------------

Sounds easy enough right? Well it is easy. Who couldn't use an extra $500 a week! But there are a few problems here. If this sounds a lot like a "money mule" (or money laundering) type of situation, that's because it is! A money mule is a person who transfers money acquired illegally (e.g., stolen) in person, through a courier service, or electronically, on behalf of others. The mule is paid for their services, typically a small part of the money transferred.

Money mules are often dupes recruited on-line for what they think is legitimate employment, not aware that the money they are transferring is the product of crime. The money is transferred from the mule's account to the scam operator, typically in another country. Similar techniques are used to transfer illegal merchandise.

After a quick Google search for a few of the sentences in his message, I found out that this guy is low-balling me! He's offering $600 a week in other listings ... I'm hurt! I replied to see if I could get him off script:

---------------------------------------------
From: <MY-EMAIL-ADDRESS>
To: <scammer@address>
Subject: RE: PA URGENTLY NEEDED

So all I have to do is receive packages and re-ship them to where you tell me to,, also receive payments and cash it out and re-pay workers? How will I be paying them, what method? How often will I have to mail packages out and how big are they, who will pay for shipping?
---------------------------------------------

He was quick to respond:

---------------------------------------------
From: Freddy Scammer <scammer@address>
To: <MY-EMAIL-ADDRESS>
Subject: Re: PA URGENTLY NEEDED

Your going to be receiving payment mostly and it has already been paid for, for the shipping . All you have to do is receive and go ahead and cash it ....... Then i will tell you what to do with the money or whoever to pay with it. got me?
---------------------------------------------

Color me amazed. All I have to do is receive a check and cash it?! What luck!

---------------------------------------------
From: <MY-EMAIL-ADDRESS>
To: <scammer@address>
Subject: RE: PA URGENTLY NEEDED
Ok seems easy enough. But I only have a PO BOX, why would this be a problem? I currently don't have a permanent address as I'm staying with a friend trying to get back on my feet and I'm not on the house lease so I can't receive mail here. Is that going to be a problem?
---------------------------------------------

Now none of this is true, but I knew that this would throw Freddy off of his game. Most scammers don't allow a post office box because they don't want to be scammed ... What's to prevent the "victim" from renting a P.O. Box for a month, getting the check, cashing it and cancelling that P.O. Box? That possibility is a risk that scammers don't like to take. There have even been reports that in some instances, the scammers will send goons to your house if you don't hold up your end of the deal.

This whole underground world that you can get quickly and easily sucked into is exciting isn't it?

---------------------------------------------
From: Freddy Scammer <scammer@address>
To: <MY-EMAIL-ADDRESS>
Subject: Re: PA URGENTLY NEEDED

I'm afraid a PO BOX will not suffice, you can perhaps use a family members address and we can start the payments as soon as you send me the info. Please reply with the most urgent intent as I only have a few positions left as my assistant.
---------------------------------------------

At this point, I didn't bother emailing back. It's pretty obvious how easy it could be for someone down on their luck financially (or just bored) to get sucked into this type of scam. What's actually happening here is that the scammer wants to send money from a compromised account to the victim's legit account and then have the victim withdraw 90%-95% of the money and send it to another account that the bad guy has legitimate access to (probably over-seas). The victim would get to keep 5% for their troubles. Often the checks that are sent won't clear, so a victim thinks the funds are in his/her account ... Money is forwarded to the scammer from the victim's legitimate account and it clears before the funds from the scammer's deposited check disappear.

In some instances, scammers will buy high-priced items online with stolen credit card numbers and have those items shipped to the victim's house. The victim will then ship them to a different address. The bad guy has nothing to lose, and the victim takes all the risk.

The challenge with pursuing these scammers from a legal perspective is that they are often based in regions and areas out of the jurisdiction of our law enforcement authorities. As a result, they usually aren't caught, and they just move along to their next unsuspecting victim.

If you receive a "too good to be true" email from someone you don't know, let me spoil the surprise for you: It's not true.

-Dody

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