Have you seen the commercials for Quaker Oats oatmeal? In recent years they have changed their traditional marketing message to appeal to a specific customer profile. The ads new message is that by eating oatmeal every day for breakfast for 30 days, you will lower your blood cholesterol levels. Pretty slick! Eat our oatmeal and you drop your cholesterol and participate in a healthy lifestyle. Net result, you are healthier, live longer, better quality of life, Yada, Yada, Yada….All this from the simple, inexpensive miracle food… oatmeal. Hey, no need for that expensive prescription medication to control your HDL or LDL, just eat a bowl of oatmeal every day!!
Now, you’re probably asking, what the heck is the point to this blog? Well, glad you asked! I want to share a story with you. This past weekend, I went on a hunting excursion to Central Texas to hunt wild hogs. There are a number of interesting tales to share about the actual hunting, and I’ll post those at a later date! This story takes place in a small town I passed thru (or tried to anyway) on the way to the hunting lease. Flying down Hwy 29, we were passing thru a small, one stop light town named Bertram. Big signs all over town advertise the fact (Proudly) that Bertram is the Oatmeal Capital of Texas. They even have an Oatmeal Festival! My buddy was in a truck ahead of me, and made it thru the light, but I was caught and had to stop. My buddy really wanted to get to the lease and kept truckin’, leaving me to apply a heavy foot to the accelerator (thank God I don’t have a Toyota) to catch up. Next thing you know Jed’s a millionaire, and I have the bubble gum lights going off behind me on the local law enforcement vehicle (their one and only). For those of you not familiar with small town Texas law enforcement, Big Brother Bubba looooves to pull over city slickers from the big city. We represent a steady, easy revenue stream for the local coffers. To contest any citation, you are required to show up in person, usually in the middle of the week, usually late in the day or in the evening. Hence, most people will just pay the fine and go on down the road. I digress, back to my story! Well, Officer Bubba, looking just like Sheriff Buford T Justice from Smoky and the Bandit fame (short stature, big belly hanging over his gun belt, cowboy boots and straw hat) ambles up to the window and goes thru the standard drill. I think he was disappointed because I had pulled over immediately and had license and registration waiting for him! I quickly realized from his demeanor I had zero chance to talk my way out of the ticket, but gave it the old college try of “hey, I’m following my buddy, he made the light and blew ahead, and I’m just trying to catch up so I don’t get lost” explanation, but no good… Oh well! So, after a short wait, Officer Bubba ambles back up to the window and hands me my ticket with a big ol’ friendly country smile, that featured three missing top teeth, one barely hanging on by a slim part of the root, discolored by years of copious Redman, Skoal and or unfiltered cigarette use. Ugh!! But good news for Quaker Oats, I’m sending them an idea for a new ad… you got it… Officer Bubba in the Oatmeal Capital of Texas extolling the virtues of daily consumption of oatmeal to help “preserve” those few precious teeth that small town law enforcement officers are so fond of!!! Whadaya think?